Hello friends. It is now officially Autumn 2011.
A year ago I was getting married … unemployed. A lot has changed for me since then.
A few weeks ago the company I am placed at (as a contractor) had a lot of layoffs. In addition the St. Louis Business Journal reported other St. Louis companies laying off just this week.
This saddens me as much as anyone. I have only been at my contract job for 6 months, and I already have a bond with some who lost their job.
If that is one of you, my heart goes out to you, and I certainly feel your pain. But … I want to tell you unequivocally that you are going to be ok.
My words may seem like just pleasantries, but I can tell you from my experience, my husband’s experience, and many laid-off friends I have met along my journey that YOU are going to be OK!
God will take care of you – even the atheist. Life goes on, and wonderful things are in store for you.
It probably seems bleak and the pit of your stomach has a perm-o-knot … but it will get better.
When I first got laid off in March of 2009, what I did was to stay in a state of shock for a pretty long period. I did function, I did get on-line every day, I did talk to family and friends, but I was numb. I could not get rid of the sick feeling in my stomach. Suddenly my normal comfort foods were not comforting, in fact nothing sounded good to eat. Well, occasionally a fried egg sandwich. I would look at my house, car, and all the beautiful things I accumulated and wonder “why?”. Why was I chosen? Why don’t they want to keep me? Aren’t I a good person? Aren’t I worthy? Didn’t I do a good job (to me I did a fantastic one!)? Was I just earning too much money for them to keep me?
I want to encourage you to feel all your feelings that come. You own them. There is nothing at all wrong with your feelings, no matter what they are. Even the bad thoughts.
Did suicide ever come up in my thoughts? Sure it did! My husband’s too. It’s normal. Whenever you are living through any life altering situation which feels like your life is shattered, all kinds of things will go through your head. By the way, I urge you to not allow the bad thoughts to stay in your head. If you find that they are, talk with friends and/or seek professional help.
Don’t give up. Your life is NOT over! Only life as you knew it. But … that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It is more likely a good thing.
Most people who get laid off, when they think about it, will find that they were not all that happy at their jobs. Maybe they were over-worked, or overlooked for a promotion, or under-recognized for things, and most probably underpaid for all their time & efforts. While this may not be your case, I’m sure when you think about it you will be able to find something unpleasant in your most recent work experience.
I bring this up for a point. To let you know that you have just been liberated. (Liberated!)
I encourage you to think of all the good things in your life, including the good reasons as to why you do not have to go in to your old job. Keep a journal of them (guys, you too). It helps you each day to write in this, for two reasons. One is it brings your thoughts up to a higher level, and two, it is a great reminder to you.
I welcome you contacting me via this blog (or if I’ve given you my personal information), and I am happy to write you back with any questions, comments, thoughts, etc.
Hang in there my friend. It is going to be ok.